Sample Jokes

Current Events

  • A college down south is launching a new program seeking high school drop-outs to work on a ship, at sea, for six months…in return, they’ll receive their GED’s. New program, dont we call that the Navy?
  • McDonalds is being sued for not using reduced fat in their cooking oil as promised. Prosecutors think they have a slam-dunk. Exhibit A…Every ass in Wisconsin.

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Pop Culture

  • Looks like superstars Rhianna and Chris Brown, are back together. When asked to comment, her father said “Whatever road she chooses, I’m behind her… now if you’ll excuse me, I have to cash the check they send me every week.
  • Porn star Jenna Jameson has given birth to twins. When the doctor gave the babies the traditional swat on the tush, she said… hey I’m over here.

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  • If ever a dispute had to be settled between The Rock, Kid Rock and Chris Rock, I guarantee you this…None of them will be picking paper or scissors.
  • I love rock paper scissors.  Who doesn’t?  A couple of months ago during a rainstorm, I go to my wife, “let’s do rock, paper scissors to take out the dog.”  I have to tell you…I didn’t know middle finger beats rock!
  • Did you hear about the red-headed kid who is suing his red-headed parents for 2 million bucks because he can’t handle life as a ginger?  I have one thing to say to this red-headed kid…”The…sun will come out, tomorrow.”
  • An al-quaida knucklehead said that the only way the U.S. will avoid another terrorist attack is if we all convert to Islam. Convert to Islam… We couldn’t even convert to the metric system!
  • India and Pakistan at it again. They hate each other’s guts, and both have nuclear weapons. If India launches there missiles towards Pakistan, and Pakistan tosses their bombs toward India, you know what that means…the price of rugs is going to skyrocket.

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